Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
