maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
