I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have aggressive nipples.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize