i would punch a child for taco bell
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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