I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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