haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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