We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
