Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
