oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My dick has a subreddit
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
