i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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