hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
