Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
