i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
