thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize