You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
