yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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