come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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