I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I want her autograph on my taint
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
