is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
