I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
