chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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