Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
