i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
