dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
