Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
