It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
