South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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