What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
