I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
