sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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