Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
