Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
did you just send me my own nude
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
