she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
