had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So much rum. So many feels.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize