i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
