she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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