The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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