Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
