I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
