I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
