your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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