The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
