PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
