Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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