How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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