PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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