the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
