I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
