sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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