He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
