no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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