so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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