In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
