you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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