It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
