i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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