The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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