I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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