There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
