just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
