found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well I just put wine in my tea
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
