Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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