and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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